A few posts ago I said that I had Lost my Zen. I really enjoy Zen....it is a great Philosophy and a great guide to living your life. Its also very difficult in this day and age. Zen is about the simple life......keeping things basic and our life today seems to be all about complexity.
One of the keys to living Zen lies in maintaining the Beginner's Mind. Now I can hear people asking,"What in the hell is that?" Simply put, it is approaching everything as if you are doing or seeing it for the first time. Imagine what your day would be like if you could go to work for the first time instead of to the 'same old job you've been going to for years'. Remember the excitement? Remember what it was like to be dating your spouse....the excitement of dancing or going to the movies and dinner. Beginner's Mind is about that feeling or excitement, that wonder every day in everything we do.
It applies to people as well......treat each meeting as the first. I know that's very hard, especially today when we are surrounded by negativity and we feel assualted from every side. We want to fortify ourselves and protect ourselves from what someone has said or done before and truthfully Beginner's Mind doesn't mean going in unprepared..it means giving each person a chance to start anew at each meeting. Have they changed? Perhaps not or perhaps they had a bad day the first time you met them and you saw them at their worst. Maybe this time they are having a good day or maybe they have changed. If they are the same person who hurt or offended you in the past then you deal with them in a firm manner. The point is that if you follow the "normal" path you'll never know because in your mind they are already branded. With Beginner's Mind, its a new day with a new person before you.
Its easy to be cynical.....god knows I'm guilty of it. I grew up in a small town where a person was as good as their word or their actions. I still tend to look at people in that light. I tend to think "screw me and your done" and honestly I tend to react that way now but I used to try to look on things with the Beginner's Mind and I need to start doing that more again. That's what I meant when I said I had lost my Zen. Now that I remember what it looks like I can start getting it back.
Rants on things going on in the world today as well as some personal crap that bugs me here and there.
Rants from the Madman
And I will execute great vengeance upon them, rebuking them in fury: and they shall know that I am the Lord, when I shall lay my righteous vengeance upon them.
Monday, May 01, 2006, posted by Timothy at 12:56 AM
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I am particularly fond of this part:
Remember what it was like to be dating your spouse....the excitement of dancing or going to the movies and dinner. Beginner's Mind is about that feeling or excitement, that wonder every day in everything we do.
In a conversation we were having a few months back Cap made a comment very similar to this. He and I have been together for 10 years, but the last 5 have been spent not only as husband and wife but as parents. It's so easy for parents to lose themselves, lose their identity, to their children. Some parents even think it necessary in order to be "good" parents. In all actuality the most important thing you can give your children is two parents who are in love, who have a solid marriage, who are happy both as individuals and collectively. Parents can't have those things if they don't put their marriage first.
So, with the help of some very good friends, Cap and I have had weekly dates without fail for 2 months now. Additionally, we both have refocused 110% onto each other and our marriage. We've become the best friends that we always used to be before we got caught up in raising our children.
It has done wonders for us. Someone said to me recently that they were impressed that Cap and I are still "dating" after 10 years of marriage. But it's like you said - seeing things with a "beginner's mind" can be crucial to our success in finding happiness. Every day I look at my husband and remind myself of all of the wonderful things about him. We talk all the time now about the amazing times we've shared over the years. We make it a point to remember why we fell in love with each other. We go out on dates; we focus on and enjoy each other like new lovers do. After so many years with someone it's easy to fall victim to routine. It's easy to begin taking the person you love for granted.
I can honestly say that waking up tomorrow morning beside Cap will make me just as happy as it did that very first time 10 years ago. Why? In part it's because I'm seeing him with a "beginner's mind". And that's a very cool thing. :D
As far as this goes:
With Beginner's Mind, its a new day with a new person before you.
and
Its easy to be cynical....I tend to think "screw me and your done".
Generally speaking I agree with applying the beginner's mind philosophy, particularly with family and friends. However I think everyone knows that there are just some people in this world not worth giving second, third, fourth, fifth chances to. Really, it all boils down to discernment.
"When wisdom enters into your heart and knowledge itself becomes pleasant to your very soul, thinking ability itself will keep guard over you, discernment itself will safeguard you." - Prov 2:10-11
JMHO! :D