Ok.....I've been training in a variety of traditional Martial Arts since 1987. At one point (for a period of 7 or 8 years) I was in a Dojo at a minimum of 5 days a weeks.....3 hours a day. I've hard my fair share of injuries.....muscle pulls, bruises, split lips, cracked ribs, broken bones.....hell, I had a cut on my left arm from a mistake I made with a live sword. Recently I was training in Aikido and I didn't move right and had my elbow hyper-extended and just this week I came within a fraction of an inch are having my big toe broken. As it was I got away with a nasty sprain.

Through any of those injuries I just got up, shook it off and kept training until the class was over (except for the cut....that required leaving the floor immediately). I've always approached injuries that way....what else can you do...stop in the middle of a fight to get it fixed? No...not really.....you suck it up, you drive on and if you live...then you can afford the luxury of sitting down and seeing how bad it is.

My Doc at the VA pointed out to me that I face psychological trauma much the same way. I suck it up, I drive on and at some point down the road.....I let myself relax enough to "see how bad it is". I still haven't "relaxed" much....... I see it everyday. I try......but, inevitably I feel like I'm losing control and I lock it back down, I suck it up and I drive on...til the next time. Some day I may get to relax enough....I hope so.......

I never thought I'd be like this...... I've always been the rock and now....now I'm sand stone.

How do you tell people what you went through....what you did...what you saw....when you can see the look in their eyes or on their faces that says "oh god....".

I don't...I won't...I suck it up and I drive on.

OOORAAAH!

"Lead, Follow or get the Hell out of the way"

Cranialrectumitis: This condition is easily identified by the very uncomfortable position one must be in to have ones head up ones own ass. Other symptoms include blind stupidity, bad breath and the utter conviction that your own fecal matter does not stink.

Optirectitus: A malfunction of the nervous system causing visual impulses to pass through the Colon before arriving at the Visual Cortex causing the victim to suffer from a generally shitty outlook on life.